This is Gallifrey, our childhood, our home
by Moonwolflove
Summary: "The second sun would rise in the south, and the mountains would shine. The leaves on the trees were silver, and when they caught the light every morning, it looked like a forest on fire. When the autumn came, the breeze would blow through the branches like a song..." -the doctor. The doctor wakes up on an all to familiar planet. The question is: Is it all real, or just a dream?


**This is Gallifrey, our childhood, our home**

**The tittle says it all. This is a one-shot about the doctor's lost world, Gallifrey. I just love the song: This is Gallifrey, our childhood, our home, and when I listened to it yesterday, I felt like writing this. I always thought it to be a pity that we don't know a lot about this once so shining world. Imagine how that place must have been. Every time I hear the doctor's description, I think about how cool it would be to live there, to see the second sun rise in the south….It must have been beautiful.  
Anyway, I really hope you'll enjoy it!  
(Quotes and characters belong to the original creator. I don't own Doctor who, although I would love to).**

_The second sun would rise in the south, and the mountains would shine. The leaves on the trees were silver, and when they caught the light every morning, it looked like a forest on fire. When the autumn came, the breeze would blow through the branches like a song...  
-The doctor_

An enchanting song danced through the air, slow and soft, but audible to every living creature that crossed its path. It was when the strange sound filled his ears, that he opened his eyes. They were brown, but the burning orange light colored them gold…their true color.

The doctor reached out his hand to a patch of grass, slowly as if he would create a crack in time by doing it faster. His fingers closed around it, and he felt the grass rubbing against his palm. It was real…real and red.

In no time he stood up and what he saw, exceeded everything he was. His breath caught in his throat and he hit himself in the face, just to make sure that what he beheld was the reality.  
It had to be, right? It could not but be real…not if he wanted it so desperately.

He blinked his eyes for a moment and then a huge smile appeared on his face, after which he began to laugh like crazy. There was not a word, not in the whole universe, that could describe the feeling that flowed through his hearts. It was so deep, so intense, that he alone could understand it. It was his own sea of feelings that had been hidden for so long, that now dragged him along. And he just let it happen.

Gallifrey hadn't changed. All that he had preserved of memories, carefully tucked away in his ancient spirit, now manifested before his very eyes in his beloved home planet. Nothing had changed, as far as he could remember. There was nothing new, nothing had changed drastically, but there was also nothing in the universe that could give him more pleasure than the sight of this shining world.

He stood in a meadow, covered in red grass. The orange light of the night shone down on him…on this whole world and colored everything with its warm glow. Everything except the unchangeable, white snow on the slopes of the eternal, infinite mountains that surrounded him. He could see the white stuff shine. Though it was quite far away from him, it seemed surprisingly close.

His eyes slid down from the mountains to…other mountains.  
The never-ending mountains of Solace and Solitude carried the capital on their strong shoulders, whose dome reached out for the sky…towards the infinity, under the glow of the orange night.  
That image was one of the most precious memories the doctor possessed. It was the memory of a city, so indescribable in many ways, his world, his childhood…his home. It was the basis of a civilization that dominated time…so their culture, this metropolis had to radiate the same power, this eternity in everything that she was.  
And she did. There was no other city that equaled her.

The citadel of the Time lords was the tallest building within the walls of the dome and the doctor remembered his time there. He remembered everything, everything he had experienced in his different lives. He could remember his childhood vividly…back then he had been his real "I"…his very first life.

Those memories were a lot to think about, but his thoughts disappeared to the background. He didn't need them! This was one of the rare moments where he didn't have to do something hero-like, where he didn't have to try saving some world from a destructive power.  
It was a moment of silence. One of the rare things in his life.

For a moment he closed his eyes and he could hear the breeze again, gently blowing through the trees. It gave him the feeling that dawn was approaching.

He sat down into the red grass, facing the south…waiting. He had all the time.

A small flutterwing flew past him and disappeared into the silver crown of one of the trees to his left.  
He loved flutterwings. He even had one in the TARDIS.

His thoughts began to take his head again, but they were silenced as fast as they had come.

The second sun emerged behind the capital, its first rays sliding over the surrounding mountains, making the snow sparkle. She remained white, untouched by the burning orange glow.  
The mountains shone and the sunrays glided to the ground, then climbed up to the highest branches, reaching the silver leaves. It looked like a forest on fire. A fire that contributed to the splendor of their being, rather than to sow destruction.

The sun settled in the sky, ready to accompany her twin sister. She had always done that and she would always continue to do…

It was with that thought that the doctor suddenly felt how an ominous feeling went through him. It was a mixture of pure sorrow…pain…guilt. It was the feeling he had felt in another life…it was so close, but he couldn't possibly say what life that was supposed to be. The answer lay just beyond his reach…slipped his mind.

Like a bolt out of the blue, the meadow changed into a graveyard of Dalek saucers. Large pieces of debris, that had sullied the beautiful world of Gallifrey with their fire, destruction and death, were to perish among the remains of a dark, thick smoke.  
That was when he realized that he was dreaming.

In painful silence he watched the city go up in flames and how the dome burst under the scorching heat. With a clattering noise, glass fell into the depths. Thousands of Gallifreyans cried as they were buried beneath the remains of their destroyed city.

He clenched his fists and fought back the tears that wildly stung in his eyes. A single tear found his way out and slid down his cheek, ready to fall into the black depths.  
This was his fault. This was his eternal torment. This was what he deserved.

* * *

"Doctor? Doctor?" a familiar voice said. It drew him back into reality.

The doctor shot up so abruptly that Rose took a few steps back in shock. He blankly stared ahead of him, before looking at her. Her big brown eyes looked at him with concern.

He knew why. It must have been quite intimidating to see him like this. He…the always enthusiastic, energetic ten. He must have looked like a shadow of his usual self.

His eyes were red, slightly puffy and quite affected by the whole dream. In other words…not his usual self…in any way.

"Are you alright?" Rose asked softly, as she bent down beside him.

"Yeah, I'm perfectly fine, don't worry about me," he said while he tried to conjure one of his usual smiles on his face.  
That didn't really work for Rose seemed far from convinced.

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but you look awful." That was because he felt awful. But it wasn't like he was going to tell her that.

"Thank you, Rose. I appreciate that," he said as he climbed to his feet. Apparently he had been sleeping on the floor of the control room.

"No, doctor…be serious for a moment…I know that's very hard for you to do, but…"

"Rose, I'm okay. Really. I just had a nightmare."

"Must have been a hell of a nightmare then," she remarked.

"Sort of, yeah." He absently ran his fingers over the buttons of the TARDIS.

"You won't tell me about it, will you?" Rose said in the background of his mind.

That was a question he had to think about, for a moment he considered the idea. She was his traveling companion…his closest friend after all. He could tell her, right? Perhaps it would relieve his feelings…or it would made the guilt weight more…Well…He couldn't possibly suffer more than he already did…

"My home planet," he said. "Gallifrey."

Rose seemed a bit surprised by the fact that he had decided to tell her about it.

"Gallifrey," she repeated softly, and while she did, her face made it clear that she didn't understand the whole nightmare thing.

He sighed. Every cell in his body told him that he didn't want to do this explanation. But there was this human rule: who says A, must say B. And it was a rule Rose took to heart.

"You should have seen it, Rose. The second sun would rise in the south, and the mountains would shine. The leaves on the trees were silver, and when they caught the light every morning, it looked like a forest on fire. When the autumn came, the breeze would blow through the branches like a song. The citadel of the time lords, enclosed in a mighty glass dome, shining under the twin suns. Beyond that, the mountains go one forever…slopes of deep red grass, capped with snow…That is Gallifrey, that's the world where I grew up and that…"

A lump formed in his throat and silenced him. Talking about the splendor of his lost world…could sometimes bring a smile upon his face…but the piece that would come now, brought nothing but pain.

"…and that's the world that burned."

Rose had been listening in fascination and when he looked into her eyes, he could see that she had tried to imagine the whole scene he had described.

"What happened?"

"Daleks…my people fought them…there was a war…the Last Great Time War. It was a long, grueling battle. It meant the downfall of the Time lords and the destruction of Gallifrey. Both are gone…forever." He paused for a moment and turned his gaze away from her. "I'm the last Time lord in the entire universe."

Rose looked at her feet and said softly: "Oh…that sounds horrible."

It was pretty clear that she knew nothing better to say. He didn't blame her for it. She hadn't seen the horror…she hadn't live through the terrible things…she wasn't the last human…she couldn't imagine it. In human words, horrible came most close to it.

"It is…it is," he mused absently.

The whole story began to flood him with its depressing waves of knew he was guilty of Gallifrey's downfall and he realized that the dreams were the way of the universe to punish him. He had accepted that, but he didn't accept to let it dominate his life. He couldn't spend all of his time thinking of the past…if he did, he would go crazy…like really crazy.

So he did what he always did when he was in such a mood. He relapsed into his usual enthusiasm. It was like a mask that preserved him from the bad memories in his mind.

"So," He said, with resumed liveliness and energy. "I told you about the planet Barcelona, right? Let's go there. Allons-y!"

**So…how did you like it? I hope I didn't make too much spelling/grammar mistakes. English isn't my native language, so it's far from easy to write a proper text.  
I would love to know what you thought of it (I'm a curious person). So don't hesitate to let me know it.  
Anyway, thanks for reading!**


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